Still movin'

Hey all,
I've made my trip back east and now I'm around Greensboro and Chapel Hill for the next few weeks. I start my job on Oct. 23rd up in Delaware. That is all.

Hayes

We're in Delaware?

Hey everyone,
The rumors are true. Everyone's talking about it and now it's official - I'm moving to Delaware! Score!
Sadly this means I will be leaving Los Angeles and SoCal much earlier than I ever could have guessed, but there is a great opportunity laying in wait for me at Delaware State Parks as a Volunteer Coordinator. I wonder how long it'll take me to miss the always sunny and 85 degree weather. One, two days?

Anyway, I'm really excited about my new job and am looking forward to getting started. I'm not sure exactly when I will be heading back east, but it'll be within the month.

Go Heels, beat Miami.

Hayes

Just because

Felt like being creative; writing a little bit on here.

It might also be that I am sitting at home and bored since I don't have a job to go two whilst my two roommates are "gainfully employed." No worries that Sebbie gets paid in cash by a man in a trenchcoat. They assured him it was legal. Well at least that it wasn't drug money. Take what you can get.

Today is Lawrence's birthday, Happy birthday Lawrence! If you see him out, wish him well however you choose. If you see him at home, drag him out, then ask yourself why you were at Lawrence's house. Odds are, if you're one of the people who saw him at home you are his roommate, or date one of his roommates.

So every football team from North Carolina underachieved this last weekend, including my Fantasy Football team. Hopefully next weekend will be better.

I think the thing I dislike the most about the West Coast is that there is no one for me to talk to late at night because all my friends are on the East Coast where it is early morning.

Hopelessly Wanting,
Hayes

P.S. Brady Quinn

Thursday's Weather Report

If it pleases the court, I'd like to say a few words, you know, to keep things moving. Unlike the traffic on my way to work in the morning.

First question. What causes traffic? Most traffic just happens, and then it disappears not nearly as quickly as it shows up. These are the things that one must think about when spending an hour "driving" to work in the morning. Not that I do that...

Beware, rambling ahead. There is no point to this post, other than to keep my loyal viewer(s) happy.

LA, despite the traffic, remains fun and good to me. I am scraping by on Chef Boyardee, temp work, and a little help from home. The story is not too different for my other two roommates. We're hopeful that our fortunes will be changing soon.

Captain's log: We've been hopeful for two months now. Optimism remains strong, but one can only guess for how long.

The past two months have been turbulent for me, especially recently, but I was looking for change, and I'll have to take the good with the bad. Sure could use a job to add a little stability to my life.

LA is a very outgoing town, and that makes it very fun, and even harder to have to sit on a couch all the time due to lack of funds. However, I am being responsible in my spending perhaps for the first time in my life.

The more I experience the world, the more I'm convinced that I want to be in a position to change it. I will be running for governor of California during the next election. Only to be shot down by the Terminator.

Sorry this is more serious than funny, but that's the way it goes sometimes.

-Hayes

Same Ole Same Ole

Well folks, you may have noticed that I changed the name of the blog. Probably not though since I doubt anyone is reading this anymore. Or that anyone ever did to begin with. The harshness of being an optimist when confronted with reality can be troubling at times.

Anyway, after a month of living in LA, I can assure you that I am still sane, having fun, and am definitely not a male prostitute. At least in the sexual sense. I do make coffee for a living.

Jeff, Seb, and I have a great place to live in Westwood and welcome all visitors.

I'll try to update this more constantly, if for nothing else other than to let you know how my fantasy football team is doing. My draft strategy was to draft all Tar Heels. I filled in the extra positions based on creativity of facial hair. Jake "The Snake" Plummer is my starting QB.

Oh, and for those of you who don't know, I retore my ACL. It only took me 3 months! And it is technically the 3rd time it has torn, since the first replacement broke during surgery. The new plan is to give me some dead professional athlete's Achilles tendon for my new ACL. That thing sure as hell won't tear.

Hayes

P.S. For those of you unfamiliar with LA, the 405 is notorious for bad traffic, and runs a few blocks from our apartment. As you can tell by the new title of the blog, I am crazy.

Oh, and my cousin, who I formed almost all of my childhood memories with and who is only 3 months older than I am, is now married. Congratulations to her. What am I doing wrong?

This is it...is this it?

Well everyone, the road trip is over, but the fun times are really just beginning.

I've made it to LA after cutting out Moab, Utah and Mesa Verde, Colorado. I'll make there some other time; it's just too damn hot here. It was 115 when I was driving into LA. Luckily we are in a cooler part of town where it is only 95.

Before I go on: Please get me a job.

I promised you a surprise guest, and here she is: The beautiful Liz, known in some circles as Wienerdogg.

Liz was cool enough to fly into Las Vegas to join me for time there and in Southwestern Utah. After spending a night in Vegas (what happens here, stays here), we toured around the Canyonlands of Utah. They are very cool, but not in the temperature sense. We were hiking in 95 degree weather and probably almost died. Not really but it felt like it, we had plenty of water mom and dad.

Well flying in means that you have to fly out eventually, so we headed back to Vegas to put Liz on a plane. This time we were center strip and it was a little grungier and a little crazier.

After Liz flew away, I decided that I hadn't had enough of the canyons, so I went to the granddaddy of them all, the Grand Canyon. It was breathtaking to say the least, and I was lucky enough to end up in a spot where I could watch lightning storms roll in from all sides. Even caught a few pictures, which I will sell off to the highest bidder.

From there it was a relatively short drive to LA and my new temporary home. And from here it will be a relatively short flight to Chapel Hill this weekend. I'm really excited to be heading back and for my to-be-wed cousin and landlord's son. Go Heels!

The End?

P.S. No pictures right now because I can't get them to upload, but you can still check them out at: http://community.webshots.com/user/Hayesmon1

O Canada...Viva Las Vegas...Y Hablo Espanol, Eh?

Oh Canada,

For spacious skies…From Yukon to Alberta…I drove through there, it was really nice…but nothing’s like being back in USAAAA!

I guess that’s not really how the song goes. Anybody out there have the real words? To either song? No? Oh well. Go Canada. And Sasquatch.

Western Canada going south was more interesting than going north. Basically, as I was leaving Alaska, I made a completely impulse decision to drive the Top of the World Highway, which took me to Dawson City, as you probably already know from the last post.

I actually ended up spending the night of my birthday in Whitehorse, where I treated myself to a dinner, movie, and a hotel room. I really know how to treat a guy.

I saw the new Pirates movie. Anyone care to explain what the hell was going on in the movie to me? I’d appreciate it. Still enjoyed it though.

The word of the day/week is: driving. It is a noun formed from the verb “to drive.” I forget the term for such a thing. Gerund, maybe? This past week has taken me from Anchorage, AK to Las Vegas, NV, over 2500 miles and 10 Red Bulls. I have been truckin’ to say the least. (pun intended).

The countries I have seen have surprised me and bored me both. Yukon Territory was nothing like I expected it to be, and I loved it. It is all rolling foothills and gold-mining towns with some of the nicest people in the world. I think they were nice because they don’t often get to see other people, so when they do, they are very cordial so as not to scare them off.

Well I wasn’t scared off, but I did have to run off. Or down rather, to Montana and Glacier National Park. Glacier is absolutely amazing. If you have the means, I highly recommend it. I was able to hike through snow, swim in a glacial lake, and lay out on a pebble beach all in the span of 4 hours. Oh, and it is much better than Jasper and Banff National Parks in Canada, which I passed through. It’s probably the whole freedom thing. Go America.

In Montana I received word that a surprise guest would be flying into Las Vegas to meet me for a few days. No word on who yet; I don’t even know. That’s a lie. I’m not going to tell you who it is though so you’ll tune in next time.

As a finale, I would like to say how excited I am for next year’s basketball season. I’ve been reading the totally biased reports on the Tar Heels, and they make me giddy. On top of that, I’ll be living next to UCLA, which should be good next year, so it’ll be a good basketball environment. And I’ll get to taunt them. Roy is so good that we’ll have 20 titles by 2010. So those UCLA kids will have nothing on Jeff and me.

Happy Birthday to me

A lot of people have asked what I'm up to on my birthday now that Jeff has left me and I'm in some foreign country where they play hockey instead of baseball and say aboot instead of about.
So...I figured I would make this one quick post. No pictures because I'm in an internet cafe. I'm in Dawson City, Yukon Territoy, Canada. I'm sitting in a cafe that is in the bar room of an old time hotel. This town is an old gold mining post and is as far north as I'm going to get this trip. I had to take the Top of the World Highway to get here, passing through the booming metropolae of Chicken, AK (pop. 21) and Boundary, AK (pop. 8).

For all you wondering out there, yes I am on a sled being led around by dogs. It is the only way to travel around Alaska and the Yukon Territory. There are no TV's up here and the sun never sets. However, they do have Frankie Goes to Hollywood CDs as "Relax" is now playing. This place is truly a trip back in time.

Well I hope everyone is having a good time doing whatever they are doing. I may go over to the local gambling hall where they have showgirls and slots. Or I may go gold panning. Or hijack a train. I haven't decided yet, but it's my birthday and I'll do what I want to.

Affectionately,
Hayes

West Coast News in Brief

These just in...

Vancouver, BC, Canada - An alleged drug bust in the busy borough of Gastown caused travelers and locals alike a bit of a scare. "We just walked out of our hostel, and there were cop cars all over the street in front of us," related traveler Jeff of the USA. "At first I thought they had found out that I had taped our border crossing with my camera, but then the police just told us to leave. Sure we were confused, but some local guy told us it was a drug bust, and that was, like, a huge weight of my shoulders. I mean, not that I had done anything wrong. I'm just glad no one was hurt. God bless America." Further information about the bust is being withheld by the Vancouver Police Department.
The bust did not prevent Americans from celebrating their independence that night, but did cause them to reconsider their housing.


Skagway, AK, USA - Far removed from the drug busts of Vancouver, Skagway provided travelers Hayes and Jeff with a secluded hostel. It was awkward as they were made to do chores and no other residents were under the age of 50. However, they were able to befriend a lone Quebecer, who gave them a sleeve or Ritz crackers.
Eager to leave, the two jumped on a ferry to Juneau, Alaska's state capital.

Juneau, AK, USA - Birds no longer have claim to the skies in Southeastern Alaska, as vagabonds Jeff and Hayes discovered during their weekend stay at Juneau. Friend and pilot Ben took them "flightseeing" over the local glaciers. He also took them sightseeing at a few local pubs afterwards, where the rough and tough Alaskan lifestyle was witnessed first hand. "The fight seeing experience was amazing," Hayes enthusiastically tells, "but what really got our blood going was the fights at the local bars. I guess with so few women around you sort of have to prove your manliness or something. I don't get it."

USA/Canada border, Haines Highway - Two recent college grads were stopped at the border trying to enter Canada from nearby Haines, AK. The two claimed immediately to have done nothing wrong nor to be carrying anything illegal, but that did not prevent the customs officers from doing a thorough search of the pair's car. Allegations included a lack of funds, a lack of ownership of the car, a lack of computer power strip, possession of illegal fireworks, suspicion of homemade tapes of an undesirable subject matter, and being from the USA South. All were proven false, except for being from the South which as it turns out is not a crime in Canada. "'You guys aren't bad guys, I can tell that.' That's what I told them," explains Canadian Customs official, Herman Murmun.

Denali National Park, AK - A busload of tourists were shown beautiful views and abundant wildlife in Denali National Park today. However, the experience came at the cost of an 11-hour day and an overly talkative bus driver. "It wouldn't have been so bad, " traveler Hayes muses, "except that we stopped for 30 minutes every time the bus driver saw a speck of an animal on the horizon. I mean how many times do you need to see a Caribou, they all look the same from 2 miles out." Companion Jeff added, "Yeah, what was up with that?"

Internet - Clicking on the photos on this site has led internet wayfarers to complete travel albums. This is not expected to change ever. Please post comments, and have a good night.

Playin' in a Travelin' Band

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the Muttontop Porch Band!Ah, the good old days: there was a-pickin and a-grinnin, the people were dancin, and the grass was blue. Unfortunately for the Muttontop Porch Band (only about three people probably have any idea what I am talking about) time and distance have forced the band into solo careers.

Andy has moved on and become a live at home dad in Richmond, Virginia, where he is working on his memoirs. Tentative title: "Whiskey, Forts, and Hokies: What Virginia Means to Me."

Leighton was last seen with Banjo in hand running off into the great outdoors. Reports of an Appalachian Trail thru-hiker by the name of "The Rising Sun" eerily resemble Leighton, but a link has yet to be proven.

Finally, the mainstay of the band, Hayes "I'm too cool to cut my hair" Holderness is sitting in front of a computer screen in Seattle, WA typing on his blog. Too cool to cut his hair indeed. How did he end up here, especially after being the literal center of such a successful bluegrass band? Tonight's "True Stories of Irrelevant Jokes" takes a look.

It wasn't easy to get Hayes to agree to do the interview. "Irrelevant Joke?" he questioned. "Yeah right, like I could ever become an irrelevant joke. I played three different instruments in that band, does that sound irrelevant to you?" However, after we offered him a Cheerwine and Yum-Yum hot dogs and ice cream, he agreed.

Last known record (i.e. previous blog posting) of Hayes' goings-on left us in Casper, WY. What many of us did not know was that Hayes was planning his biggest concert since Chapel Hill '03, which, out of respect for the entire population of North Carolina, we will not recount here. However, it is important to remind the audience that this is where Hayes met his future band partner W.M. Jeffries, seen below.

With plans of rock-star fame and bluegrass fortune, Hayes and W.M. Jeffries drove to Jackson Hole, WY, where the magic was set to happen. After setting up shop on the street corner, the sweet rhythms of the banjo and harmonica could be heard as far away as the caddy corner. All the girls on the street immediately flocked to the hypnotic duo, and both of them threw money in the hat. Even the police stopped by for the show, however their intent was not to party. Sent packing by the police to the bar they recommended, Hayes and W.M. drowned their failure in the company of friends John and Rebecca.
Figuring that all had been lost in the failure of his comeback concert, Hayes convinced W.M. that they needed to "find their roots" by spending a few days in the wilderness, and return to the hip scenes of Seattle and Vancouver, where they would "surely be wicked successful." However, Hayes and Jeff were to face many challenges in the wilds of Oregon and Washington. Idaho is not mentioned because neither Hayes nor Jeff were able to remember anything about the state.

First the driving. They had to drive all the way through the Columbia River Gorge. That was about all the challenge Oregon posed. Well unless you include sleeping at Motel 6 and eating at Denny's a challenge. Hayes considered it a growth point. "From here on out we will leave behind our redneck bluegrass roots and become a grunge band. That's what they like in Seattle, right Jeff?" W.M. was unavailable for comment.

Washington state brought the challenge of looking at a blown volcano and climbing an active one. "Seeing Mt. St. Helens juxtaposed to Mt. Rainier made me realize that I wanted my music to carry that kind of explosive power. I wanted to rock mountains' tops off with my Banjo licks. Not hurt anyone, just rock their f-ing socks off." To gain that sort of power, Hayes and Jeff scaled Mt. Rainier to learn it's secrets. Then, to show their control over the mountain, they slid down it on trash bags, in a symbolic act of mastery.

Finally assured of their imminent success awaiting in Seattle, Hayes and Jeff packed up and drove to the city, only to find that they had forgotten to book a gig. Rather than get depressed, they toured the city and prepared for a trip to the LA of Canada, Vancouver.

In parting, Hayes asked only that we remind our viewers to click the pictures to see all from the trip and that he has fixed the comment boards so that you don't have to be a blogger to post. In other words, anyone can now post comments and they are encouraged. Until next time, this has been another installment of "True Stories of Irrelevant Jokes." Stay tuned for further updates on the Muttontop Porch band saga.

Casper the Friendly City

Hey all,
Here's another fun packed update for those keeping score at home. Jeff and I are currently stationed at a Motel 9 in Casper, Wyoming. We're here after a long few days of travel that have taken us from Maine, where you heard from us last, to Canada, the Great Lakes, the Great Plains and here.
After a great visit with Katie in Maine, we moved on to Montreal, stopping at the Ben and Jerry's Factory in Vermont. I strayed from my usual Phish Food and got New York Super Fudge Chunk. It was pretty good. I don't want to give away any movie spoilers, but some funny conversations and experiences came from this excursion, look for them in W.M. Hortman's documentary film to be released later.
Montreal was a bit of a shock to me. I expected the feel and look of an old French town, but didn't get much of either. The city was vibrant and modern. However that old town feel wasn't too far away in Old Montreal. I enjoyed the city and hope to make it back sometime.
We didn't get to do much in Toronto, coming in on a Sunday night, but we did go up the CN Tower, take some pictures, and walk around a bit. After Toronto, we stayed the night with my Aunt in Hamilton, ON which is a beautiful city. We received a big load of hospitality from her and her dog Bear and had a great time visiting with them.
Our travels took us to Niagara Falls next. They were pretty sweet, but I'm not sure how people spend a whole honeymoon there. Maybe if you're into gambling.
The next night we stayed with more family in Chicago and received another big helping of hospitality. We ate some deep dish pizza, drove around the city and left for Madison, WI and Minneapolis, MN.
We didn't spend much time in either city, but both looked like really fun places to live and I hope I can visit them again sometime. The drive exposed us to a new side of America, as it was almost all farms and flat. More of the same took us through South Dakota to the Corn Palace, Badlands National Park, and Black Hills National Park.
South Dakota was pretty boring until the National Parks, where we saw Mt. Rushmore and beautiful landscapes.
Finally we ended up here in Casper for the night. We tired and are catching up on sleep here, which is probably why this posting is not very interesting. Click the pictures to see more. I will also make the next postings funnier so you guys won't stop reading. Maybe I'll even offer some cash reward or something. How does the opportunity to take me out on a date sound?

-Hayes

Hello From Maine

Hey everyone,
Well the trip is underway. So far I have been to Roanoke, Connecticut, Boston, and Maine. We just got off the water from an afternoon of sea kayaking in Maine. It was pretty cool to say the least.
It is we now by the way as I picked up Jeff in Connecticut, however, I forgot to pick up his wallet. Thankfully Kemp Fedexed it ahead to Chicago so we can get it on Monday.
There isn't too much to report on actually. Lots of driving. The country side is beautiful, but I've been to most of these places before, except for Maine.
Boston was fun, got yelled at for not knowing where Dillon's is. The guy said I should move out of Boston for not knowing it, so I did.
Anyone know why there are cow statues all over Boston? They are interesting, but Jeff and I couldn't figure out their purpose. Art is art I suppose.
The 'Noke was fun, and it was good to see Jeremy. If anyone has any ideas for getting vomit out of a car, let him know. Not my fault by the way, his roommate turned 21. I barely dodged the bomb by getting her out of my car a few minutes earlier. Jeremy was not so fortunate.
Guilford was a good time too. We got to cruise along around the Thimble Islands in Kemp's boat. He gave it the juice a few times and we all had a good time. Plus, when is seeing Kemp not a good time? Don't answer that.
Well tomorrow takes us to the original Ben and Jerry's in Vermont, then lunch in Montreal, dinner in Toronto, and lodging in Hamilton. Should be a big day. I think I'm going to get either Cherry Garcia or Phish Food ice cream. Jeff has been talking about wanting George W. Bush Vanilla.
Stay tuned, and Go Heels!

-Hayes

New email address

Since I'm not sure how long my UNC email account will last, I'm going to switch over to gmail.

You can now email me at HayesRH at gmail.com.

I will still check the UNC email periodically until it kicks me out of the system.

Just getting started

Just setting this thing up in anticipation of my trip across country to LA. This should work better than my big group emails because this way you can read when you want to and if you want to. Please post any advice you might have for me on the trip. Here is the rough itinerary:

June 21 - Roanoake, VA
22 - NYC
23 - Boston, MA
24 - Acadia NP, ME
25 - Montreal, QC for lunch/Toronto, ON for night
26 - Chicago, IL, or Madison, WI
27 - Keystone, SD
28 - Badlands, SD
29 - Jackson Hole, WY
30 - Jackson Hole, WY
July 1 - Mt. Saint Helens, WA day/Mt. Rainier, WA night
2 - Mt. Rainier,WA day/Seattle, WA night
3 - Seattle, WA
4 - Vancouver, BC
5 - Vancouver, BC
6 - BC drive to AK
7 - BC drive to AK
8 - BC drive to AK
9 - Alaska
10 - Alaska
11 - Alaska
12 - Alaska
13 - Alaska
14 - BC back to MT
15 - BC, Alberta
16 - Alberta
17 - Glacier NP, MT
18 - Boise, ID
19 - Salt Lake City, UT
20 - Moab, UT
21 - Mesa Verde, CO
22 - Bryce NP, UT
23 - Zion NP, UT
24 - Grand Canyon, NM
25 - Las Vegas, Lake Moab, NV
26 - Joshua Tree, CA
27 - San Diego, CA (make up days)
28 - Fly to Chapel Hill, NC
29 - Chapel Hill, NC
30 - Fly to San Diego, CA
31 - LA,CA

There we go.

-Hayes